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Writing
妙笔生花——读后续写
阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写词数应为150左右。
The event that stands out in Tom’s memory happened one morning when Tom was only ten years old. He was at home with his elder sister Jane. Tom was doing his homework when he heard raised voices. At first he thought nothing of it since customers in the motorcycle shop directly below their flat often became loud，but he soon realized this time it was different.
“Quick! Quick! Remove the motorcycles from the shop，” someone shouted. Then a thick burning smell filled the air. When Tom opened the front door of their flat to investigate，a thick cloud of smoke greeted him. The motorcycle shop had caught fire and people were running and crying.
Jane，who had been playing the violin in her room，hurried to the living room. They rushed out of the door and along the corridor （走廊） through the smoke. They were heading towards the stairway at the far end of the corridor when Jane suddenly stopped in her track. She turned around and headed back the way they came. Tom had no idea what she was doing，but he followed her.
Jane had suddenly remembered the lady in her 70s who lived next door to them，who they called Makcik. Jane began banging on Makcik’s door，but got no answer. As the smoke thickened around them，Tom could see many of their neighbors—some still in their pajamas （睡衣）—running for safety. The thought of fear crossed his mind.
“She would have run for safety like everyone else!” Tom cried. However，Jane refused to give up. “I know Makcik’s still inside.”She said she was familiar with Makcik’s daily routine and was certain she would still be sleeping. She pounded against the door. “Go downstairs. Go now! Go!”
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. ___________________________________________________________
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Luckily， some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help.
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步骤一：品读语篇——抓住要点很关键
前文概要
审语篇类型：记叙文
审时态：一般过去时
审前文大意以及要点
who：Tom，Jane
when：one morning when Tom was only ten years old
where：at home
what：a fire broke out
第一段：汤姆和姐姐在家，突然听到有人大喊。
第二段：摩托车店着火了，人们都在迅速逃跑。
第三段：他们冲出门外，简突然停下来往回走。
第四段：简去敲住在他们隔壁的70多岁的老人家的门。
第五段：汤姆打算放弃敲门，但是简坚持继续猛烈敲门。
步骤二：戴着镣铐跳舞——研读首句，高度融合原文，合理想象情节
①第一段所给首句：Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. 文章主要讲述突发火灾汤姆和姐姐在家，打算跑出去，但是姐姐忽然想到隔壁的老人，去敲门帮助她。这时候汤姆注意到了火焰在往上蹿，这一段续写汤姆害怕的动作、心理，姐姐的具体表现。
②第二段所给首句：Luckily，some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. 第二段续写部分应着重叙述邻居们过来帮忙后，汤姆和姐姐不再感到无助，与邻居们一起救出老人的过程。
步骤三：斟酌打磨——丰富续写词汇，生动描述情节
话题激活词汇
情感：fear，anxiety
动作：hold，cough，run，shield，tell，carry，come to oneself
句式翻译
1. 他吓得站在那里一动不动。（so）
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2. 他明白形势的严重性，紧紧握住简的手。（and连接并列谓语）
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3. 他们两个都咳嗽，眼睛刺痛。（过去进行时）
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4. 时间似乎静止不动，尽管他们在那里可能只有两三分钟。（though引导让步状语从句）
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5. 汤姆恳求简尽快逃命。（as...as possible）
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6. 简尽力捂住鼻子挡住呛人的烟，摇摇头。（and连接并列谓语）
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7. 汤姆突然哭了起来，而她不停地敲门。（while）
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8. 一种力量感立刻取代了简心中逐渐增长的恐惧和焦虑。（replace）
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9. 她告诉他们Makcik女士一定还在房间里。（must）
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10. 他们用尽全力把门推开。（with all their might）
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11. 果然，Makcik躺在床上，不省人事。（形容词作状语）
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12. 她被抬下楼，然后立即被送往医院。（被动语态）
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13. 在医院她终于苏醒过来。（come to oneself）
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14. 邻里的人都松了一口气，简和汤姆非常高兴。（并列句）
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步骤四：创造性表达——润色注重细节，句式再造升级
1. 把句1改为过去分词短语作状语结构
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2. 把句6改为现在分词短语作伴随状语结构
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3. 把句12和句13合并为含有定语从句的复合句
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步骤五：高分在即——连句成篇，认真誊写并仔细检查
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. __________________________________________
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Luckily， some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. ______________________________
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参考答案
步骤三
1. He was frozen with fear，so he stood rooted to the spot.
2. He comprehended the gravity of the situation and held Jane’s hand tightly.
3.Both of them were coughing and their eyes were stinging.
4.Time seemed to stand still，though they were probably there for only two or three minutes.
5.Tom begged Jane to run for safety as quickly as possible.
6. Jane tried to shield her nose from the choking smoke and shook her head.
7.Tom burst out crying while she kept pounding against the door.
8.A sense of strength immediately replaced the mounting fear and anxiety in Jane’s mind.
9.She told them Ms. Makcik must be still in the room.
10.They forced the door open with all their might.
11.Sure enough，Makcik was lying in bed，unconscious.
12.She was carried downstairs and then rushed to the hospital at once.
13.She finally came to herself in the hospital.
14. People in the neighborhood felt relieved and Jane and Tom were very happy.
步骤四
1. Frozen with fear，he stood rooted to the spot.
2.Jane tried to shield her nose from the choking smoke，shaking her head.
3.She was carried downstairs and then rushed to the hospital where she finally came to herself.
步骤五
Tom noticed the flame was reaching up. Frozen with fear，he stood rooted to the spot. He comprehended the gravity of the situation and held Jane’s hand tightly. Both of them were coughing and their eyes were stinging. Time seemed to stand still，though they were probably there for only two or three minutes. Tom begged Jane to run for safety as quickly as possible. Jane tried to shield her nose from the choking smoke，shaking her head. Tom burst out crying while she kept pounding against the door.
Luckily，some neighbors passing by stopped and offered help. A sense of strength immediately replaced the mounting fear and anxiety in Jane’s mind. She told them Ms. Makcik must be still in the room. They forced the door open with all their might. Sure enough，Makcik was lying in bed，unconscious. She was carried downstairs and then rushed to the hospital where she finally came to herself. People in the neighborhood felt relieved and Jane and Tom were very happy.
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